my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
