you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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