my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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