So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
