After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize