we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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