Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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