Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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