How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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