If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
