Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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