i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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