Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
