Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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