So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
