Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
