He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
