1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
