real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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