O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize