i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A bitchslap is in order.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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