you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
