Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
should my penis look like a turkey
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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