I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
