I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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