I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
