someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
