Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize