is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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