I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
