I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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