i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
