is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
