Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
