Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
