help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
