R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize