Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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