Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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