last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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