we have officially lost it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
