I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
