Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
