True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
