He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All the doctor said was why
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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