What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
