Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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