You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
