That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize