he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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