he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
