YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I lost the right to judge tonight
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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