We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
