Already got asked if we're dating
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
