Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
