He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Come share oat with me in your robe
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
