i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
