Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
