Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
