So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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