You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
