you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
