Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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