Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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